Weak Sauce on a Nothing Burger

Shayan Kashani
2 min readMay 14, 2023


every morning i wake up
before the crack of dawn.
i meditate. i smoke a joint.
then i go for a run.

every night before i go to bed
i play a game of chess.
a sport that can both
induce and relieve stress.

my life is structured, yet flexible
i roam about the planet, free
unencumbered by the craze
of the game, the rat race, the spree.

but you won’t understand
all the things that i am
because i’m crazy
in just too many ways

let’s sit. let’s chat.
let’s dance. let’s walk.
let’s you and me really get down and talk
and what and when and where and who
and suddenly out of the blue
when it gets down to the why
i catch myself telling a lie.

finally invincible!
behind the dirty imbecile
a literal legerdemain
these fibs will be biblical

all the things i’ve tried, boy
be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young
so don’t tell me what to fear
in the darkness of this atmosphere

you can put lipstick on a pig
a hotdog on a stick
or dress up a failure as success
but when the cards are counted
and the fat lady’s sung
will there be anyone left to impress?

all my fibers say to run away.



Shayan Kashani

Writer — Philosopher — Teacher — Runner — Reader — Nomad.