Day 1: what the hell are we talkin’ ‘bout?

i’m going somewhere new
a place i’ve never been
a thing i’ve been scared of
my whole blessed life

and on the eve of this
momentous occasion
on the precipice of
solving the equation

there are a few things i want to say.

number one.
to all the special people
i’ve met in my day:
we certainly had a lot of fun,
more than a decade of play.
but now it’s time for me to go,
put myself into the fray.
this isn’t goodbye, but i guess
it could be, in a way.
but worry not, my fateful friends
i guess what i’m trying to say:
is if our paths don’t cross and
we never meet again—
i’ve finally come to accept
that that would be okay.

number two.
to those who loved me
that i took for granted and finally
abandoned without abandon
to chase the ephemeral next:
there is no point in me weaving
an apology into a flimflam that
will only vex, so i’ll say this —
it was part of a descent into an abyss,
and there was little i could do.

number three.
this is where things get tricky
because i’m talking now to you
yes, you right there, that’s right
you, you, you, you, you:
ever wonder what it feels like
to know tomorrow will never come?
or what’s the point of all this folly
to which we’ve all succumb?
i suppose i’ve known my whole life
to what my passion alludes
and every delay on that path
has been another rebuke accrued.
i’ve gone turning in my mind
a carousel that never stops,
and all i could ever do is
hope the penny drops.

number four is the
return of the lunatic.
the fanatic for expression.
put away your swords and
let’s use words that are
equal in might.
you wanna fight? is that right?
don’t you think it would be better
to just sit down and fucking write?
without blight?

fears of failure and admonitions
sow the seeds of all decisions
and when it comes to having clout,
all that’s ever there is doubt.
but in the words of billy beane:
the end result is unseen,
you’ve gone and figured it out,
so what the hell are we talkin’ ‘bout?