#13: What is the secret of being a good house guest?
I wrote a somewhat tepid answer to this question, and when I got to the end, I realized I had a better idea, so we’re starting over.
What I originally focused on were things like knowing when to leave / not overstaying your welcome (which is still a big one), along with other culturally defined behavioural norms like taking off your shoes, not showing up empty-handed, expressing gratitude, helping with clean-up, being conscious of your words and conversations, and not crossing boundaries of privacy.
And while all that may be true, these are not secrets at all, they are principles. Rules of Thumb, if you will. It is certainly a good idea to try and adhere by them, but by no means would that automatically translate into you being a good house guest.
So then. What’s the secret? I will tell you, here, finally to be revealed:
The secret of being a good house guest is adding value.
You do that, and you can reasonably break or bend any of the aforementioned principles and people will still enjoy you being in their house.
Now, adding value can mean a lot of different things in different circumstances. You have to know your crowd. It could be something as simple as bringing a nice bottle of scotch for everyone to enjoy, or a half ball, or a few board games (put those three things together and that’s my kinda party). It could mean arriving early and helping set up, or staying later and helping clean up. It could mean volunteering assistance to the hosts when something goes amiss. Or introducing everyone to some excellent music, telling fascinating and captivating stories, and creating space for people to speak, learn, laugh, and relax.
Being a value-addition guest is the kind of guest that, when all is said and done, will be invited back.
That’s the secret.
